Having finally handed in the last piece of work for the course I’ve been studying for over the last 16 months, I can come up for air, and take a bit of time to reflect. I decided on a general spread, to look at different aspects of life – a version of the Elements spread. The cards are drawn from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot (Blue Angel, 2016)
The Four of Earth shows a male figure trying to hold up a building. He has a wound on his arm, suggesting he’s been going through a tough time. And the stone above his head is decorated with a bee, symbol of the Goddess. There’s also a slight Tower feel here. Is he trying to shore up a doomed edifice? Are his ideas in need of a shake up?
Certainly, things have been tough physically of late. We’re still in rented accomodation, which is stressful in a lot of ways: a sink and shower that leak; an oven with the insulation drooping off the middle so the whole metal outside heats up dangerously, especially as it’s at kiddie level; and as our rental period is up soon, there have been five viewings, just in the last week. Strangers trooping around what is currently our home, even if it isn’t very homely 🙁 All this has been weighing on my mind, and the stress has seen me eating very unhealthily. So, what will help me change my mindset, and change my physical responses?
Firstly, perhaps just acknowledging how hard it’s felt. And then, I wonder why he has to hold the whole building up by himself? Has he forgotten to call on spirit, on the Goddess represented on the stone above him, for help? Although I’ve continued to meditate daily, perhaps there is something here about giving over my worries to spirit. If I can ask for help, and allow it to flow in, it won’t feel so much like I’m carrying everything on my own.
Intuition is an interesting card to get here. I notice the symbolism pointing to Persephone, and am reminded that she became the Queen of the Underworld, but only for part of every year.
This image points to needing to grow and change, to take on new responsibilities and help others. And yet, Persephone maintains a connection with her old life, her old passions and relationships. I’ve been thinking about whether to go back to several projects I had planned on the tarot/magic front. Or should I focus more purely on being a professional clinical hypnotherapist, now that I’m getting my official qualification? This card suggests growing up, taking on a ‘real’ job. And yet, Persephone thrives by maintaining links to her old life. When asked recently what I am passionate about, “Tarot!” came right out of my mouth. Perhaps it is ‘deadening’ to believe I have to just be serious and work all the time…
A beautiful angel figure stands with her back to us, facing a portal. Around her, rainbow butterflies that echo her own wings fly up into the sky. There is an open eye at the top of the doorway, and blue sky all around, though the portal leads into a night sky.
This reminds me of the Nietzsche quote about looking into an abyss, and the abyss gazing into you. Focusing on the negative rarely brings anything positive into your life. While Nietzsche meant this as a negative, the void is also the place of infinite potential. Opening your mind to the amazing possibilities of life can be a wonderous thing. So, time to stop those negative tapes running circles in my mind and making me unhappy. Instead, I need to open to opportunity. It also reminds me of meditating on the infinite spaces of the universe – a reminder of how small and inconsequential my troubles really are. If I can truly feel that, perhaps I can let go of my emotional response to my thoughts.
A woman rises from turbulent waters in the Ten of Water. A turtle swims up from the depths, while a glowing, one-eyed heart shines rays of light from above. The woman holds a triple-moon symbol in one hand and seems to draw up the waters, or the turtle, with the other.
Combining watery emotions in the position of the body and the physical: dealing with comfort eating is written all over this card! Getting a grip on the cycles of my emotions and connecting to spirit. Finding a long-term way to feel in control of my emotions, no matter what comes to batter me. Once again, the call of the Goddess is there, and finding some breathing space beyond the emotional turbulence.
Another of the unusual Majors in this position: XII: The Hero. I see a woman’s face (personal gender bias is more than possible, though look at those Angelina-Jolie-esque lips), in a golden mask. There are horns, with green crystals hanging from them. An open eye graces the sun that rises above a peacock-feathered decoration over the third eye and crown. Beneath our hero, a bear head and paws, framed by two boars heads.
There is great strength and fearlessness here. And yet, what it says to me is that if I admit I don’t have to be the hero all the time, that is the most compassionate path. Recognising that this is just a mask, an illusion, that is the real strength.
In position fifteen of the Majors, instead of The Devil we have Abundance. There is an Empress feel to this card, with the woman surrounded by a cornacopeia of fruits and vegetables, golden treasure, a rabbit, and holding a nest of just-hatching chicks and their mother in her hand. There is a cauldron full of rainbows behind her, beneath a protective, great, golden dragon.
This figure is slim, despite being surrounded by abundance. She is guarded by spirit in a very manifest way. And she is seeing new growth, new potentials, spring to life before her eyes. So mote it be!
To read journal prompts based on these cards, click here.