For tonight’s Full Moon, I have a little ritual planned to help me in working on a bad habit that has long plagued me: sitting in front of the TV snacking! I also wanted to do a reading around the subject, connected to the ritual. For this, I was inspired by a meditation I did on the Goddess. So, the positions represent Brigid – Maiden, Cerridwen – Mother, and Hekate – Crone. The tarot I’m using is the Tarot of Delphi (J.D. Hildegard Hinkel, 2014). The Goddess cards are from the Goddess Oracle (U.S. Games, 2006)
Brigid – What inspiration do I need? – XIX – The Sun
It’s an odd card, this. While her dress is a gorgeous, sunny orange, her pose is far from dynamic or joyful. Still, the booklet highlights that she is able to enjoy the pleasures of the calm day, and that she radiates health and vitality.
What I see here is that I need to wake up to the positives of making this change. Doing so will give me greater energy, a feeling of a new beginning full of hope, and better health. I will also be able to feel better about myself – an ego boost. Perhaps putting my ego on the line would be a good inspiration, too: making myself accountable in the way that Lisa Eddy has been doing by blogging about her 5:2 intermittent fasting…
Cerridwen – How can I nurture it? – Five of Swords
Another unusual depiction here. A woman holds aside a curtain, with a candle burning to illuminate the room behind her. Reading the booklet, this is Clytemnestra, after she murders her husband Agamemnon – betrayal and conflict. She remains unhappy, plagued by her own demons: a definite lose-lose situation.
I can nurture my inspiration by noticing when I’m getting into lose-lose situations, and getting myself out of them again. Or recognising them as such and being kind to myself, accepting I’m not perfect. For instance, if I snack after dinner I could see that as a failure, and think ‘Well, I’ve already failed so “in for a penny, in for a pound”‘ , which of course is a very self-defeating pattern. Or else I could accept that I’m not perfect, forgive myself, and find something loving to do for myself, in which case I might not eat any more. So much of this is about mindset!
And of course, issues around food are some of the toughest to deal with, because you can’t just go cold turkey – we still all need to eat. My snacks are pretty healthy these days, so feeling like I’m betraying myself because I eat a date and some hazelnuts really is rather silly. If I create strict guidelines that I will fail, I am setting myself up for self-recrimination, guilt, and backsliding. On the other hand, if I don’t set myself any guidelines, I won’t achieve anything. So, I need to find things that are workable for me. And that may constantly change – that’s been my experience thus far.
A while back, knitting and crochet helped me snack less, but then I lost interest (or found they took too long and too much attention, respectively). So, now I’m sewing, and that seems to be working well for the moment. And that may change, and then I’ll have to find something else that works – it’s a constant process of awareness and inspiration, rather than something that is done once and for all. In fact, this is one of the reasons why having a life coach can be so helpful: to keep you in awareness of what is happening, and figure out the best way forward from where you are right now, rather than some idealised notion of what you should do.
Hekate – What wisdom should I consider? – Nine of Swords
A soldier stands at an entry way, looking nervous. The booklet explains that this is a sentry at the gates to Pompeii as the volcano erupts and flaming debris crashes down into the city. A nightmare scenario, indeed.
One thing I see here is that things will get better when I am less exhausted and on edge. It’s true that being tired is a big factor in both my ‘hunger’ and my lack of control. So, this refers back to the last card, around not putting myself in lose-lose situations. I am a very healthy weight, and I am not eating anything that is seriously bad for me. Perhaps I can be kind to myself, therefore, and accept the odd failure along the way.
Also, when I am in a situation that is less stressful, things may become easier by themselves. I am working on getting my Little One to sleep better/longer, so I can do the same. I am also exploring ways to get myself to bed earlier, so I sleep for more of the time he sleeps.
Equally, I’m considering starting on the 5:2 diet, but won’t do so until things are a little more settled at home – I get grumpy enough with the kids because I’m tired, without adding hunger into the mix. Working on sleep and stress, and on developing good habits around bedtime, meditation and alternative pursuits are all good avenues to take. Sometimes, working around the outskirts of the “problem” can be more effective than going at it head-on!
This week’s journal prompts over on the TABI blog are based on a different set of cards from the Tarot of Delphi, as this felt like too personal a reading for that. I still found them helpful (and connected) as they talk about indulgence and compromise: check them out here.