Inner Whispers

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Inner Whispers

Hello Oma, How Are You?

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This year, for our Samhain Blog Hop, Arwen gave us the topic: commune, communicate, commemorate.  I looked at the spread I used last year, but it didn’t feel appropriate this time around.

The person I want to commune with this Samhain is my step-grandmother, who I called Oma (German for grandma).  In life, she wasn’t much of a “child” person.  She was never a mother herself, though my grandad had two children by his first wife, so she still ended up with kids and grandkids.  My mum always thought I was her favourite, as I was the only grandkid with brown eyes and hair like her own, the only one who might be mistaken for a blood relative.  Plus, she really liked my dad 😉

I never knew her all that well, she was rather a quiet, introverted person, not very good at sharing.  I decided to use the cards coversationally, asking questions and seeing where they take me.  And I picked the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot (Llewellyn, 2015) because it’s my favourite deck of the year so far.

BF-Ravens-OmaRdg2How much did you feel a part of the family? – The Emperor

Hmm, I think this is saying that she felt a part of the family mostly through her relationships to strong male figures.  My granddad would have been the prime instance.  However, I also notice the symbolism on this card – a sword in a stone, and a crown.  That makes me think about King Arthur, and my father’s name was Arthur.  So yes, he made her feel more a part of the family, too.

BF-Ravens-OmaRdg1How did you see yourself? – The Magician

Funny, I don’t think of Oma as being very proactive, or making use of the resources she had to hand.  Yet, I suppose she did in many ways.  She manifested the relationship she wanted, winning over my grandfather after my grandma had divorced him (which may not have been easy).  And she accepted the roles he gave her: as stepmother; and running the women’s clothing store he had originally bought for my grandma.  She made her own space in these arenas, taking things in hand and getting good results (both from the kids at school and from the shop).

BF-Ravens-OmaRdgWhat do you most regret? – Queen of Coins

Perhaps she regretted that she wasn’t really a practical, nurturing woman.  She was happier with her head in a book than in the kitchen.  And she didn’t have the ability to comfort a crying child, or the desire to take care of the messy practicalities of life.  In later years, she became more emotionally open, but I think she remained a Queen of Swords throughout.  And that influenced how others responded to her, which can’t always have been easy.  While we must lie in the bed we have made, we don’t always understand the consequences of our choices when we make them.

BF-Ravens-OmaRdg4What in life brought you most joy? – Ace of Cups

While she may not have been very good at dealing with the complications of family and children, that doesn’t mean that love wasn’t the most important thing in her life.  She always had fur babies, and loved them devotedly – they are much simpler than other people’s children.   And, as I say, she became more emotionally open when she was older, though not everyone could appreciate the change by that point, relationships being what they are.  Yet, love is so fundamental to our well-being, even when we find it hard to express or accept.  I wish I had been able to offer her more love, once she became more open to it.

BF-Ravens-OmaRdg3What is your final message to me? – Two of Cups

Ah, more love!  Honour your differences as well as your similarities, and love people regardless.  Intertwine your life with those of the people around you, as that forms the most important support you can have.  Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if you are the same as others, it only matters if you can connect with them despite the differences.

This is a powerful message to me.  My elder son is very different, yet I see his joy in being loved and loving.  Though people stare in the streets, to me his is beautiful.  Thank you for the reminder, Oma.

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18 Responses to “Hello Oma, How Are You?”

  • What a lovely message and reminder! I think I’ll try this for some of my family too. Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Glad you enjoyed it, Alison 🙂 It was interesting for me to do with a family member I didn’t know all that well, offering some new thoughts on who she was…

      Reply
  • A lovely spread, and a really good interview with a lady who sounds rather enigmatic for her time!

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    • It’s funny, I never thought of her as enigmatic. I think it was just that she had trouble sharing at all. It was good for me to take the time to try to understand her better 🙂

      Reply
    • Yes, from two generations above to the generation below. She never met either of my sons, and I’m not sure how she would have coped with my messy elder, but maybe she would have surprised me with her understanding of difference…

      Reply
  • What beautiful messages came through! I love that you picked up on the Arthurian sense of the Emperor card, and connected that to the family name. And it’s lovely that you honored your step-grandmother in this post – I imagine she’d be pleased 😉

    Reply
    • My family is quite complicated with half’s and step’s, and speaking with my stepmother I got a strong feeling for how she felt she had to stay a little distant, leaving space for “true” family, yet I actually find her a wonderful person I would like to be closer to. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the “outliers”. And I guess for quite a few members of my family, I am an outlier… oh, now I need to ponder that some more!

      Reply
      • Ah, I share that experience with you of many steps and halves. My step dad, for example, was a much stronger father figure for me than my biological father, and I am much closer to one of my step sisters than to one of my half sisters. Family ties go beyond blood ties. It’s too bad that your grandmother felt a need to stay a bit back from things, though I can understand why she might have felt the need to do that.

        Reply
  • Katalin Patnaik

    Lovely post! And what an important lesson to remember!

    Reply
  • My eye is fixated on the emperor in your spread. I think your Oma took control of the situation in the way she knew how and did it well, whatever role she was given as you have suggested in the interpretation of the Magician, she assumed that role well and took control. This woman is so special Chloe. One needn’t conform to preconceived notions of that role by cooing to kids and being nurturing as such…she was her own woman. I really like her:)

    Reply
  • Two of cups – honor your differences, I really liked that! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply
  • A very compassionate post…
    ‘And she accepted the roles he gave her: as stepmother;..’ I found that part touching and I think it suggests a deep and profound love…

    Reply

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