On Friday, the vibrant Dreams of Gaia Tarot (Blue Angel, 2016) arrived. Having seen some of the beautiful images on Ellen’s blog, I wasn’t surprised by how lovely it is. I was a little worried, though, as it is its own system. It doesn’t follow tradition in either the Majors, the Courts or the Minors! However, so far I have found it beautifully intuitive to read. I used it to help me crystallize my intuition on some work questions over the weekend, which worked extremely well.
Daily Draw – Eight of Air
For today, I decided on a daily draw. My first impression of the Eight of Air was that it was lovely, though it challenges my preference for a female Eight of Swords. This card is generally one of my go-to cards for deciding if I like a deck. However, given how non-traditional the deck is, I decided I’ll just have to go with it, wherever it may lead.
This card does have echoes of the RWS Eight of Swords, with its woman bound and seemingly trapped by eight swords. Here, we have a white-bearded angel with his third eye open. There are chains falling away from his hands to left and right. Yet, they do not seem to bind him any more. His left hand is bleeding from being stabbed by a dagger, while a second dagger floats, tip up, above his right hand. Under his belt is tucked a key, and above his head is a small, glowing star.
My thoughts turned to different ways of breaking free of my assumptions, prejudices, and self-restricting thoughts. Sometimes, I may need to cut something out of my life, no matter how painful. However, if that is the case, it needs to be a one-off: excising something so that it can no longer hurt me. This sharp, painful approach works in the short term. However, if I have to stab myself again and again, everyday, then eventually the sacrifice and the pain will be too much. I wrote a post about motivation a few weeks ago, and there’s good evidence that if something feels hard and unpleasant, it’s far harder to maintain.
So, what other option do I have, perhaps a more long-term solution? The second dagger floats tip up. A change of perspective is needed, tipping ideas on their head.
Reframing My Ideas
What ideas do I need to deal with, what self-restricting thoughts? I’ve been struggling again with food, particularly with sugar addiction. When I think about not having any sweet treats after dinner, a little part of me cries “I want them,” “I need them,” “I deserve them!”
How could I reframe those thoughts, to find a different perspective that might help me behave in a more healthy way?
I started with a direct reversal: “I don’t want them…” There’s a small part of me that can embrace that, the part that wants to eat healthily and feel good about myself. “I don’t need them!” A big part of me accepts that as true, knowing that these “treats” do me no good, outside of my emotional baggage. “I don’t deserve them?!” Ouch, now that one hurts, and tears prick at my eyes. Okay, I need a different reframe for that. Otherwise, it is a dagger in my hand, rather than a helpful new perspective.
How about: “I deserve something better”?
I’m not sure what that “better” could be, but it’s a reframe I can work with. And maybe I’ll ask the cards for their help in figuring out what would still feel joyful to me…