Inner Whispers

Guiding You To A More Magical Life

Inner Whispers

How Do I Reframe This?

bf-dreamsofgaia-8s-1On Friday, the vibrant Dreams of Gaia Tarot (Blue Angel, 2016) arrived.  Having seen some of the beautiful images on Ellen’s blog, I wasn’t surprised by how lovely it is.  I was a little worried, though, as it is its own system.  It doesn’t follow tradition in either the Majors, the Courts or the Minors!  However, so far I have found it beautifully intuitive to read.  I used it to help me crystallize my intuition on some work questions over the weekend, which worked extremely well.

Daily Draw – Eight of Air

For today, I decided on a daily draw.  My first impression of the Eight of Air was that it was lovely, though it challenges my preference for a female Eight of Swords.  This card is generally one of my go-to cards for deciding if I like a deck.  However, given how non-traditional the deck is, I decided I’ll just have to go with it, wherever it may lead.

This card does have echoes of the RWS Eight of Swords, with its woman bound and seemingly trapped by eight swords.  Here, we have a white-bearded angel with his third eye open.  There are chains falling away from his hands to left and right.  Yet, they do not seem to bind him any more.  His left hand is bleeding from being stabbed by a dagger, while a second dagger floats, tip up, above his right hand.  Under his belt is tucked a key, and above his head is a small, glowing star.

Different Options

My thoughts turned to different ways of breaking free of my assumptions, prejudices, and self-restricting thoughts.  Sometimes, I may need to cut something out of my life, no matter how painful.  However, if that is the case, it needs to be a one-off: excising something so that it can no longer hurt me.  This sharp, painful approach works in the short term.  However, if I have to stab myself again and again, everyday, then eventually the sacrifice and the pain will be too much.  I wrote a post about motivation a few weeks ago, and there’s good evidence that if something feels hard and unpleasant, it’s far harder to maintain.

So, what other option do I have, perhaps a more long-term solution?  The second dagger floats tip up.  A change of perspective is needed, tipping ideas on their head.

Reframing My Ideas

What ideas do I need to deal with, what self-restricting thoughts?  I’ve been struggling again with food, particularly with sugar addiction.  When I think about not having any sweet treats after dinner, a little part of me cries “I want them,” “I need them,” “I deserve them!”

How could I reframe those thoughts, to find a different perspective that might help me behave in a more healthy way?

I started with a direct reversal: “I don’t want them…”  There’s a small part of me that can embrace that, the part that wants to eat healthily and feel good about myself.  “I don’t need them!”  A big part of me accepts that as true, knowing that these “treats” do me no good, outside of my emotional baggage.  “I don’t deserve them?!”  Ouch, now that one hurts, and tears prick at my eyes.  Okay, I need a different reframe for that.  Otherwise, it is a dagger in my hand, rather than a helpful new perspective.

How about: “I deserve something better”?

I’m not sure what that “better” could be, but it’s a reframe I can work with.  And maybe I’ll ask the cards for their help in figuring out what would still feel joyful to me…

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6 Responses to “How Do I Reframe This?”

  • I am so glad you are enjoying your new deck.
    Reframing: maybe you could give yourself small portions of sweets. or only during the weekends. I have the same problem with crisps. When I allow myself a portion I even weigh it now and it works for me
    I hope you will find you way through the forest my dear

    Reply
    • I do try to keep it to between 9 and 9.30pm, and I weigh my portions. Still, sometimes I have more than I should. It’s not dreadful, in fact so much better than it used to be. But, I just wish I didn’t have to fight the urge so often, and fail sometimes, too…
      I feel like there should be something that will just flip things around so it doesn’t keep coming back. Yet, maybe it’s like the fact that “chop wood, carry water” keeps coming back, it is just a theme that will always be there :/

      Reply
  • Always amazes me how much suffering humans will put up with before they make a change (I’m the same way).. Definitely not the good kind of resilience. I understand the desire for self-indulgence; it often masquerades as self-compassion and is usually easier than the latter!

    Reply
    • This comment helped me so much, Bev! I’ve written another post based on it 😀 You’re so right, that little voice is so indulgent. And self-compassion is complicated. Now, I have some ideas about how to approach it 🙂

      Reply
  • Thanks for your thoughts on this deck. I’m a bit more inclined to want it, knowing that it is readable in spite of the system being completely non-traditional. The images ARE beautiful and the 8 of Swords looks interesting. As for the sugar craving, my way of dealing with it is to stick to dark chocolate – which is the one thing I would never want to deprive myself of… and then just have a bit… but I do have some pretty much every day. Apparently it is good for asthmatics – lucky me, I have an excuse! 🙂 x

    Reply
    • I am absolutely adoring this deck, Lisa! It’s my favourite of this year (and I went back over all the decks I’ve used this year to check).
      I have been trying to stick to dark chocolate, and I’ve found a brand I love called Ombar, which is raw and vegan. Still, I also still crave other things, even if it’s just granola with oat milk… Guess I still need to work on getting the right balance! Cx

      Reply

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