Recently, my friend Ellen asked me if I was still being stalked by the Tower. My answer was that I’m working on the issue that led to it being such a big force in my life.
In fact, I have another appointment at lunchtime today for just that purpose. Yet, when I woke this morning (well, when the baby woke me at ridiculous o’ clock – that’s 3.45am for those who use a regular alarm clock) I felt really grumpy and kept thinking about cancelling the appointment.
In the face of this, I decided to pull three cards from the Animal Totem Tarot (Llewellyn, 2016) to answer:
What is the real reason I don’t want to go? Eight of Cups
Seeking a higher truth and leaving behind an emotionally charged situation is not necessarily a comfortable thing to do. While my “excuses” revolved around the inconvenience of the appointment, and the person’s stupidly old-fashioned approach to certain subjects, the reality is that I need this wisdom, but that doesn’t make the path towards it easy. Like the salmon swimming against the current and leaping up waterfalls, it takes effort, and when I’m tired that isn’t what I most want to do.
What will I gain by going? The Tower
And this is why I love the tarot. I could have ignored most other cards and stayed in my comfort zone. But when my stalker card for the last 9 years rears its ugly head, I just can’t ignore it. There is a huge reason why I should go, and this is it – to put the Tower behind me!
That made the last card almost redundant, but as I’d already drawn it…
What will I gain by staying at home? Four of Cups
Yep, staying home would be a dull, predictable, comfortable place to be, not needing to look at that cup offered by spirit, just carrying on along my regular path. No need to drive it home, I’m going!